Episode 1
Noteable Quoteables and Original Episode Description This is a repost. Had to remix the sound. So it's comedy ahoy! Once again...Sorry. "That Plan (of god) Is Pussy"- Jackson Ermine (Sketch 1, 2:12) "'Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!" - Harvey Fierstien (Sketch 2, 03:51) Outline? 00:00 - Pre theme intro 00:05 - Theme music 00:31 - Intro 01:08 - Sketch 1 - The Apostle Hour with Jackson Ermine 03:31 - Sketch 2 - Advertisement for the stage musical 'Micheal Savage in The Man Who Taught His Asshole to Speak' 04:03 - Sketch 3 - Storytime 05:17 - Segue - From Storytime to Hacker Fashion via Princess Mopsey 05:58 - Sketch 5 - Hacker Fashion 07:42 - Segue - From Hacker Fashion to Tech News 07:50 - Sketch 6 - Tech News (Featuring mPod, Pixar's new adult oriented division and their first film 'Dildos') 08:26 - segue - From Tech News to Police Advertisement via 'Get that Reporter Off My Lawn!' (With Sue Grandys) 09:28 - Sketch 7 - Police Advertisement 10:00 - Sketch 8 - Fate Beer advert 12:30 - Sketch 9 - Zoo Patrol #1 (With John Henry) 15:18 - Outro and ending chatter Transcription of Beginning and Apostle Hour Sketch Cayenne: Teknikal Diffuculties February 23rd, 2005 *Theme music plays* Cayenne: And hello. Welcome to Teknikal Diffuculties, I'm your host: Cayenne Chris Conroy. I'm the main producer of this program I hope you enjoy it this is my first attempt at podcasting I hope you like it. This is a brand new show I put up for podcast. I've always been interested in broadcasting and broadcast-well podcasting from the beautiful, snowbound city of Minneapolis, Minnesota. This is my show, it's a little rough around the edges for a first start and a little short but hopefully things will get better after this. Please enjoy and let's begin '' ''*Organ Music* Announcer: Welcome to the the Apostle Hour with your host, Pastor Jackson Ermine. Pastor Ermine comes to you at this time everyday to encourage the faithful in their spiritual walk. And now, here is Pastor Ermine '' ''Pastor Jackson Ermine: Welcome, welcome brethen this week I'd like to you about God's plan for your afterlife. That's right, everyone likes to talk about God's plan for your life. What about I ask you, what about that and the sweet hereafter? Yes brethen rest assured that Jesus has a plan for your eternal life just as he has one for your earthly life and I know he has one for mine. And that plan is '''pussy', pussy and lots of it! Listen, I've been a faithful husband to a shriveled gargoyle with prune tits and pasty sand paper skin that needs a facelift just to keep the congregation's kids from screaming for the past 50 years! Mother of Christ and that wig! Jesus she looks like a mummy with a poodle pyramid on her head crammed into a tube sock! Aaauugh God help me. The sight of this woman naked would turn a man to salt and I had as much as a blowjob in 23 years. So there better be a god damned major leauge cubic ASSLOAD of teenaged pussy waiting for me on the other side or I'm gonna be kicking holy hiney all over the streets of gold! And a another thing!'' Wrangler 1: There he is! '' ''Wrangler 2: Get him! '' ''Pastor Jackson Ermine: What?! Get yer god damned hands off me! *Sounds of struggle as Pastor Ermine tries to get away and the Wranglers try to get him* Announcer: *Clears throat* This has been the Apostle Hour with Pastor Jackson Ermine. Pastor Ermine has been with the Associative Union of Evangelicals for over 60 years '' ''Pastor Jackson Ermine: '''Sixty long and blue-balled years!' ''Announcer: Shh! Tune into this station every week for Pastor Ermine's serman and now we return you to your regularly scheduled religous programing '' ''*Sound of struggle continue* Announcer: Alright alright hold on, I've got his thorazine right here. Category:Episodes Category:The_Apostle_Hour Category:Zoo Patrol